I watched all of the Star Wars films in one day and this is what happened…

We’re now just 8 days away from The Force Awakens, and not sure if this was obvious already, but I am ridiculously excited!

In preparation for this monumental occasion, I thought it would be a good idea to watch all 6 Star Wars films in one day. I decided to document the steady decline of my mental state on Twitter (using the hashtag #StarahWars – thanks Jake for this excellent hashtag suggestion!), and then write a blog to share with all of you wonderful people so you can see what happened.

Whilst I am a big fan of the machete order, I decided to watch them in the story order, starting at Episode I, and finishing on Episode VI. Mainly because I wanted to get the prequels out of the way and finish on a high note!

Starting at 8:00am and finishing at approximately 11:30pm on the 28th November, here is what happened when I watched all of the Star Wars films in one day…

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

1. My day began at 7:45am, some would argue this is too early to be watching Star Wars, but it was a necessity if I wanted to finish at a sociable hour! I had my Force Awakens Christmas jumper on, I was pumped and ready to go!
   
2. Mere seconds into the opening crawl, I remembered why this film sucks! One minute it is turmoil, next minute taxation. Hmm.

3. Nute Gunray is not only annoying but probably definitely a racist stereotype. No one actually says “blockade” the way he does. This was also the first mildly suggestive line I picked up on. There’s more to come! #Giggity

4. The Jar Jar hatred began. Look, you can even see the hatred in Obi-Wan’s eyes here. I’m with you OWK.

 

5. I made a fully justified comparison between Queen Amidala and Beyonce. Amidala’s outfits SLAY. #IAmAmidalaFierce

6. The M word. That is all.

7. Despite the fact it takes a literal age, I loved the podrace! This is podracing Anakin.

8. With over 13 hours of watching time I feared I had peaked too soon with this tweet. I needn’t have worried, I continued to be find myself hilarious as the films went on…

9. These films are long and I had not scheduled enough toilet breaks. Error. Also this wouldn’t be the first time this happened.

10. Basically.

11. Most of this film is nonsense but then DARTH MAUL happens. I was excited. Very excited. I am 24 years old, watching The Phantom Menace by myself, singing the Duel of the Fates music to myself whilst spinning round my room with a lightsaber.

12. Oh Anakin, we have been through this. You were podracing earlier, this is not podracing. Also we can see what is happening, you don’t need to tell us as well bro.

13. Seriously though, why did they kill off Darth Maul, aka the best character? Imagine how good Episode II would have been if there had been an Obi-Wan vs Darth Maul grudge match? IMAGINE IT.

Summary: I enjoyed this far more than I probably should have done! The offensively stereotypical accents of Jar Jar, Boss Nass, and Nute Gunray, and the terrible acting from Jake Lloyd are the low points. However, that lightsaber battle with Darth Maul is as good as I remembered it, and easily the best bit in the film.

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

1. Sweet relief. I had a much needed loo break, changed into a new Star Wars t-shirt, got some more snacks and was ready for Episode II.

2. Morale was at a low point. AOTC is easily my least favourite, and that naive optimism I had so early soon disappeared!

3. But it is not all doom and gloom. For where there is terrible acting, there is also majestic facial hair.

4. I was all alone in my journey. People with more sense than me realised watching AOTC is madness. #SolidarityWithSarah

5. Disclaimer: not an actual quote from the film. But close enough.

6. #BetterThanAttackOfTheClones

7. Anakin is the biggest creep in this film. Padme sums up how we all feel about his face.

8. Still true.

9. Easily the worst thing about this film.

10. But every cloud…

11. Credit where credit is due, this is the only scene I believe anything Hayden Christensen says.

12. Pull the other one Palps, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

13. Having now watched Hayden Christensen attempt to act for over 90 mins, the punishment for whoever made the casting decision was agreed upon. Seems fair.

14. If she was a president she’d be Babe-raham Lincoln. SCHWING.

15. The Phantom Menace, you had Darth Maul and imma let you finish, but Attack of the Clones has the greatest line of all time,

16. ZING. I’m here all day guys. No seriously, I am here all day.

Summary: This film was as terrible as I remember it being. It is so needlessly dull and boring. However new appreciation for the “Across the Stars” score, and a reminder of how hilarious C3PO is in that fighting pit scene. “DIE JEDI DOGS”.

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

1. Sustenance had been consumed, the t-shirt changed (Spoiler: I changed it for each film), bring on Episode III!

2. As opposed to the previous crawls, Episode III has a strong start…

3. But it doesn’t take long until we’re back in familiar territory. Whilst not as offensive as Nute Gunray and Jar Jar Binks’ accents, General Grievous is…eesh.

4. Stop everything! An important Twitter milestone was reached. I’m mainly surprised I gained followers rather than losing them whilst I was live tweeting Star Wars…!

5. Where was I? Ah yes, very early on I realised I remembered very little about this film. Out of all the prequels (and probably all of the Star Wars films), it is the one I have seen the least. Already though, I could tell it was better than Episode I and II. That is not to say it is a good film, but comparatively to Episodes I and II, it is. Anyway, moving on…

6. Seriously. This. A question which plagues me right from the start of Episode I. Open your eyes people!

7. Oh Grievous. Twirling four lightsabers around does not a great villain make.

8. This film is pretty brutal in places. The dark turn it takes towards the end is so damn good.

9. But no Palps, I refuse to call Anakin “Darth Vader” until he has the mask on mmmkay.

10. At this point I made the best blog notes ever so far: “annoying cockney youngling“

11. Crap. I don’t remember this film being sad! The scene between Padme and Anakin is heartbreaking.

12. YES!! Now this is a bit I do remember. The lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin is badass.

13. In contrast though. And also as it turns out, not an unpopular opinion at all!

14. Dammit Sarah focus on the lightsaber battle! #NotTheLastNellyReferenceIUsed

15. ZING.

16. Chills. Seriously.

17. Can’t decide if I’m overwhelmed by Star Wars or if this is actually amazing. Ok, I’m crying. Yep, this is happening.

Summary: I stand by the fact this film gets more credit than it deserves, but it is much better than Episodes I and II. The ending in particular is excellent, and it is impossible not to feel emotional, knowing what comes next. Also the lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin is incredible. Shame it had to be interspersed with crappy Yoda lightsaber battles, but anywho…

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

Episode IV: A New Hope

1. Naps are great right? I very sensibly scheduled an hours power nap between Episodes III and IV. I awoke refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the next 3 films!

2. I feel that this moment could be considered the beginning of the steady decline into madness that followed.

3. VADER! Real Vader, not stupid Hayden “Nooooooo” Christensen Vader.

4. HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE?! Aunt Beru is the ultimate trendsetter. Look at her, rocking that denim and big 70s collar like it’s NBD.

5. If you don’t cry at the binary sunset music, why are we even friends?

6. I’d watched a lot of Star Wars today. I did spend a lot of this film just all caps tweeting quotes.

7. Jar Jar fart gags = not funny. Stormtrooper fart gags = ALWAYS FUNNY.

8. Do do do do do do dooo. *repeats forever whilst rocking in a corner*

9. In Latin, he would be called “babia majora”. SCHWING.

 

10. This shouldn’t be funny. But I laughed, and you laughed too. We’re in this together guys.

11. Just a normal day on Twitter. People are going about their normal lives. And then there is me.

12. NOOOO OBI-WAN!!!

13. Facts. Seriously, what would any of these people do without R2?!

14. I might have just been exhausted, but I laughed more than I should’ve done at how many innuendos there were in this scene.

15. #SquadGoals

16. Obviously the film is great. But PIZZA.

Summary: I was so excited to watch this after the mostly terrible prequels that I think I started to lose my mind slightly. This isn’t exactly breaking news, but damn this film is amazing!

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

1. This, my dear friends, is what happens when you have spent almost 9 hours alone, watching Star Wars back to back.

2. A highly accurate representation of what I was like pre-ESB…

3. GOOD NEWS!! Whilst I was 9 hours deep in Star Wars, alone and wearing a jedi robe, my good friend Steph was on board to watch the final two films with me and tweet along as well!

4. Told you there’d be another Nelly reference.

5. Fun fact: for episodes I-IV I was diligently making notes for the purposes of this blog. In my Empire Strikes Back notes, it simply says “some like it hoth”. #SendHelp

6. Whatever you do guys, do not play this drinking game!

7. I mainly shocked myself that I was able to tweet GOLD like this when I was five films in…

8. Still the best insult. You’re wrong if you think otherwise.

9. I’ve never felt more like this AT-AT IN MY LIFE.

10. Fact: Star Wars innuendos get funnier the longer you have spent watching Star Wars.

11. Tell me it’s not just me going insane? Please.

12. I know, Han, I know. I know you all day long. I “know”-d you before Leia did!

13. Easily the most versatile gif for this event!

14. *Chortles*

Summary: Best. Film. Ever. No seriously, after watching this I made a very big decision. The Empire Strikes Back is my favourite film of all time. Star Wars is the best, and Empire is easily the best out of all of them (so far?).

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

1. We’re on the home stretch!! Feeling exhausted but excited for the final film in my epic marathon! This is the face of someone who has watched over 11 hours of Star Wars, and still has over 2 hours to go…

2. The subtitle in itself isn’t surprising. The fact I spotted it at this hour, is!

3. #BetterThanAttackOfTheClones

4. Turns out I wasn’t hallucinating, but I almost wish I was.

5. Not even sorry.

6. That my friends is the sound of tumbleweed.

7. My love/hate relationship with George Lucas had most definitely started to move to “hate”…

8. It only just struck me how little Yoda is in the original trilogy. But yet ALL THE FEELS.

9. #IncestIsBest

10. As far as I’m aware I had no life before this, and this is my life from now on…

11. ADMIRAL ACKBAR IS THE GOAT.

12. The end was very much in sight, and I have finally found the character in Star Wars I most identify with…

13. LEIA YOU DON’T KNOW HAN, I KNOW HAN. Stop trying to make “I know” happen, it’s not going to happen.

14. It was late but this was more hilarious than I ever remembered. Also kudos to my brother for finding this gem a few days later.

15. OH $£%& OFF HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN WITH YOUR STUPID SMUG BLUE GHOST FACE.

16. WE MADE IT!!! I can sleep now! This was the best day ever,

Summary: It was difficult to express how I felt at this stage. So much Star Wars had been watched. Films started to blur into one. This film is a lot of fun for sure. It definitely isn’t as good as IV or V, but it is still leaps and bound better than the prequels. I was mainly happy I could sleep at this stage, and regain my sanity.

A gif to sum up my feelings/state of mind:

 

That’s it guys! Well done if you made it all the way through this blog. Just know that I spent 13 hours watching the films, and a good 7 hours writing this blog, so spending a bit of time reading it is the least you can do y’know!

In all seriousness, thank you so much to everyone who chatted to me during the day via Twitter (you guys kept me going!). A special thanks to my flatmate Jake for coming up with the hashtag, and letting me commandeer the living room for most of the day, and to Steph who joined me for the final stretch! 

Check out this blog, in which I look at the 8 stages of waiting for The Force Awakens, and don’t forget to look out for my review for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, very very soon!

Thank you again, and may the force be with you!